fairly ordinary

This is Drew, after running all of his grumpies off.

Daniel will soon be home from work and Drew and I are piling in the car with him to get eat a massive amount of fries (and enjoy some cheeseburgers) from Red Robin. We’ve been wanting to go ever since we moved and haven’t yet so TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT.

Steve & Cassidy are arriving tomorrow night and so far, the schedule calls for a visit to The Pie Factory and a stop for fresh strawberries. I’m hoping to fit in a visit to the Children’s Museum in Ann Arbor as well as exploring downtown with them. We may even convince them to babysit Drew for a couple of hours so Daniel and I can go catch a movie (which we haven’t done in…um, a year?).

Up: I’m finally sleeping again and not experiencing horrible headaches every other hour.

Down: The weather is so very sticky, muggy, and thick right now. We’re having to stay inside in the cool air and I think it’s driving Drew and I a little stir crazy. I’ve caught him licking the patio door more than once this week.

Up: I finally finished reading Jesus Land. Whew. I cried like a little girl. This book is NOT for the faint of heart. It’s a memoir about abuse and racial stigmas in the South. I recommend it because it’s wonderful and a sad reality for many people (not just the South) but just be prepared. It’s not a light read at all.

And that’s all for now. :)

I watched tonight’s episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 as did a lot of other people. I think most of us are tired of the Jon and Kate drama and just want it to go away (and so obviously, some of you are going to GAG that I’m writing about Jon & Kate but never fear – I’ll write about potty-training, warcraft, the odd upstairs neighbor, or hissing geese who chase my son soon). But this drama is not going away anytime soon and so with the apparent continuation of the show (at least for this season), I have a few things to say as I watch from the sidelines:

[In case you don't know who Jon & Kate is - read this. Also, they announced that they are separating and filed papers at their local courthouse.]

1. It’s easy to judge them both. Especially since they’ve made it so easy for us with their having a family reality show where we see so many juicy bits of everything. But I always have to remind myself that I cannot IMAGINE what it must be like to have eight children – all that close in age. So, if you are ranting about them – please try to imagine what it must be like to be in their shoes.

2. Lack of communication between spouses will lead to divorce just like eating too much pie will lead to being squishy. I say this because the glaring truth I kept seeing while watching this show is that how could the stress of parenting 8 children and having a reality show NOT cause communication problems?

Jon’s passive personality and Kate’s aggressive personality is a mirror of my marriage as well and I know very well that if I start getting bossy and demanding that Daniel will only take so much before he shuts down emotionally. Thankfully, I have some sort of Weird Mechanism that can’t handle things not being okay for more than about 8 hours. Even if Daniel screwed something up and “everything is his fault,” I will willingly admit to everything from stealing the Lindbergh baby to causing the Hindenberg disaster just to get things Back to the Way They Were. That’s not always a good thing, I know. But with a passive and aggressive personality + hatred of conflict = we work things out pretty well.

3. In my opinion, Kate has been hounding Jon for a very long time and belittling him in front of the camera (i.e. the whole world). I think he could only take so much and whether one of them cheated or not, I think their marriage was over months and months ago. The fact that they kept the charade up this long and then suddenly decided to share this news with their viewers and then bam – file separation papers on the SAME day as the episode airs (yet plan in advice so they could flash up an “info” piece at the end to say that “Jon & Kate filed on June 22, etc…”) – in my opinion, that is just adding to the drama.

4. I know Kate must be hurting. Obviously. She says “I want to talk but he doesn’t” and “I don’t think HE realizes the repercussions of HIS actions” and “I don’t know what he wants. I don’t even know if he knows what he wants.” But she has very rarely ever said “it was my fault too.” I’ve waited to see her apologize or admit that she’s treated him like trash but I have only seen a handful of times where she started to say “I know I’m tough on him.” I think Jon is just plain relieved to be out of the situation. He almost looks giddy. I wish he’d stood up to Kate a long time ago and communicated before it reached this point though.

5. I think Kate’s saying that she’ll sail the ship alone if she has too is very sad. :( I think the most healing this for this family would be for the show to end and for them to hole up in Pennsylvania and figure out as a family what is best for them. Instead, it’s playing out for the whole world to see and how can they think clearly in that situation?

6. Lastly, if you’re a fan of the show, maybe you remember Aunt Jodi? Her sister writes Truth Breeds Hatred and this post is interesting.

They were never the devoted couple that production was trying to portray. It may look like they are so different now or they’ve changed so much. That’s not really true. The viewers weren’t shown a true depiction of what things were really like. The turning point was when their two worlds collided. Real life Jon and Kate was exposed and they were forced to deal with it on the show. If those photos hadn’t come out, the viewers would have no idea how bad things really are. They still have many episodes that were filmed back before the truth was exposed, and they were planning on continuing the charade as long as possible.

Jon mentions the tabloids are making things worse. Actually, it made things worse because they were trying to keep the separation quiet so they could continue the charade. They gave up on their marriage months before the tabloids started reporting on them. Now they’ve been forced to speed up their “reality” show to real time, and they weren’t prepared for that. It’s horrible to see them using their marital issues as a ploy for ratings. As much as Jon says he doesn’t want to be in the public eye and doesn’t want to be a part of the show, there he was yesterday, giving an interview and telling people to watch the show to find out the state of their marriage. You can’t have it both ways, Jon!! It’s evident that both of them will do anything for more money!!

As the kids grow up, I hope they won’t resent their parents for doing the show and I hope they all find peace. But the only way I see that happening anytime soon if to shut the doors on the paparazzi, say goodbye to TLC, and hunker down for healing.

As you might have realized by now, I think World of Warcraft is delicious.

I just recently hit a big milestone in the game.

Which meant that I was finally able to step off the boat into Northrend, at Alliance Keep. Yay!

The social aspect of the game. I’ve absolutely loved every minute of being in my guild, Chance. It’s not a typical raid guild (although they do raid a bit). Here’s their charter:

Created on July 23, 2008, Chance is a World of Warcraft guild located on Baelgun, a Pacific PvE server. Our focus is building a strong guild based on good relationships and teamwork. Growing from the strength of our members and the connections we’ve formed, Chance is decidated to friendship and fun in all aspects of the game before accomplishments and items. Chance will strive to remain a relaxed, family-oriented, drama-free and stress-free guild. Chance is not a hardcore raiding guild; we believe raiding is merely one aspect of the game.

We place high value on honor and integrity; we expect you to treat your fellow players with respect, in game and on all forums. Your conduct reflects upon the entire guild; any misconduct or disrespect of fellow players will not be tolerated. We endeavor to establish and maintain a reputation for being a quality guild, full of helpful and active guild members who are excellent additions to any group. Do your best to live up to these expectations. In turn, Chance will strive to treat all its members equally and with respect, regardless of rank.

Since I’m still relatively new to MMORPGs (massively multiplayer online role-playing games), I am indebted to this group of people who very kindly and generously have helped me learn the ins and outs of the game. I can still be a noob at times but I’ve learned quite a bit and feel much more comfortable as I’m nearing lvl 80.

I’ve also made a few other friends in the game (who aren’t necessarily in my guild) simply by fighting a monster along side of them or sitting on the steps of a cottage and fishing.

One of these friends (who IS in the guild) is Brud. He’s played the game much longer than I have but he’s very kindly helped me out a lot. We’ve snickered over trying to kill the monsters in the Nexus (we kept wiping out to the point that I began scooting to the side of the walkways and macro-ing “Emereth ponders jumping off and ending it all.”

He recently made a shiny new Gyro-Balanced Khorium Destroyer (hover over the link to see details) for me and we posed on the top of a cliff to take pictures.

Brud and Arnatuille (my cat) joined me for a brief pose. Arnatuille looks like she just spotted an enemy and will only be able to say “Cheese” for one second longer.

I have another friend who has helped me out a lot too but I haven’t seen her on in a few nights so I don’t have any screenshots. But, suffice to say, she’s a powerful little gnome who can spank most things she comes across in a matter of moments.

Another social piece of the game, created mostly within guilds, is contests and gatherings with other players. Our guild regularly hosts fishing contests in Stranglethorn Vale. On Sunday, the 1st Chance Fashion Challenge began with this particular challenge in mind:

This week’s challenge is entitled:  “It takes a Village (People!)” For those of you born after the Carter administration, The Village People were a flamboyant disco sensation from Greenwich Village that dressed as macho archetypes (an irony utterly lost on their adoring “straight” audiences).  There were THE COWBOY, THE CONSTRUCTION WORKER, THE COP, THE NAVY/ARMY GUY, THE INDIAN and THE BIKER.  The COP was sometimes a BIKER COP.

I’ve joined the contest and now I have to rummage through the Auction House (and/or hunt for loot) to find clothing to make up one of these costumes by this coming Sunday.

The Midsummer Fire Festival. In WoW, there are a lot of holidays that occur. Some coincide with our IRL holidays and some don’t. On Saturday, the Midsummer Fire Festival began and with it, a whole host of achievements can be reached.

The festival goes on for quite awhile so I may have time to complete all of the achievements before it ends but we’ll see. I don’t feel a lot of pressure to complete it. It’s just fun to do small things like throwing torches, dancing at the fire poles, and general mayhem and mischief.

Here’s Emereth, whirling around at the fire pole in Elwynn Forest.

And here she is, hoping her rear end doesn’t catch on fire.

And here’s Emereth in Stormwind, after trying to throw a billion torches and failing miserably. She decided to just stand here in front of this odd blue fire and pretend that she isn’t secretly proud of being much taller than the dwarf beside her.

Other awesome pictures. Sometimes Elsa, my PowerBook G4, runs beautifully and allows me to turn all of the glorious sparkly wonders on while playing WoW and other times she’s grumpy and I have to run with the bare minimum.

Here are pictures with varying qualities, all depending on Elsa’s mood on a given day.

Emereth with her helmet on:

Emereth with her helmet off (she has beautiful hair so I don’t let her wear her helmet when it’s appropriate to have Flowing Locks of Beauty):

Flying in Northrend:

Arnatuille and I standing very carefully beside our favorite grumpy dragon:

Emereth’s epic ground mount of choice:

Inside the pink bubble:

Riding the ship away from Northrend to Stormwind and seeing the icebergs nearby:

Emereth quickly rushed up to the bow of the ship so she could re-enact Kate from The Titantic:

Arriving in Stormwind and seeing the beautiful harbor:

At sunset, near the fountain, pondering life on Azeroth:

~

Are you starting to see how easy it is to fall in love with this game? The lore, the beauty, and the creativity behind it all is fascinating.

It’s somewhat appropriate to begin writing again on Father’s Day.

I dearly love my father and miss him so much now – especially since I don’t see him but 2 or 3 times a year. I called his cell phone this morning because I knew he’d be at church earlier than other people so he can Get Things Going and we had a tiny conversation about missing each other and hoping to see each other again soon. I teared up when he told me, “I love you, Nif, and wish you were here.”

My dad is a very humble man. He’s full of wisdom, always thinking of a dorky joke, a book-lover, one of the most hardest working guys I’ve ever been around, and very protective of the people he loves.

About a year ago, my dad and I had a conversation that has flown back to my mind in the past few weeks and it’s because of this conversation that I made some changes here at Fairly Ordinary.

He and I went for a drive one afternoon and he gently mentioned that he’d heard through the grapevine that I was writing online now and had also heard that it was painful to read for some people.

He very sweetly and sincerely offered his thoughts about it all and basically said that if what I was saying was hurting someone, then in his opinion, I should make a change. Even if I thought I was right, even if I thought I could explain it all, and even if I wanted to help someone else – that perhaps I should slow down and think through why I was writing about issues that could cause potential pain. Because the bottom line is that all we have in this world is each other. And if we start burning bridges and hurting hearts now, even with the right motive, that we slowly begin eliminating those we love from our lives.

I’ve had an emotional roller coaster for the past two years and I’ve tended to share a lot of it (and yet not all of it) through blogging. Mostly as a way to heal but also I’ve wanted to just be able to explain why I did what I did and why I said what I said so I would feel justified. I’ve had to let go of that and simply realize that not everyone is going to understand or agree with me for things I now believe or don’t believe but that consistently dwelling on what might separate us or divide us only causes more pain and more separation.

I still firmly believe the changes we made in the past two years were good, right, and beneficial for our family. But I have friends and family who feel awkward around us now and that makes me sad. So I’m letting go of the debate over issues and deciding to enjoy the relationships we have, even if we choose to believe differently about really important things.

So I backed up the database for Fairly Ordinary (because Daniel’s taught me well and I now agree that I don’t want to lose the history) and wiped the slate clean. I miss writing about Drew’s everyday (remember when I said I didn’t want this to be a Mommy Blog?) and I miss sharing the ordinary things of life here.

I feel like the curtain of depression is slowly pulling back and I’m no longer wearing the label of The Girl Who Left or The Girl Who Can’t Figure Out What She Believes and I’m starting to be Jennifer, just a girl who still has a lot to learn about life and God and who is married to the most wonderful guy in the world and who has the sweetest little boy ever. I want to revel in the beauty of my life and not focus on the days that are weary.

So, I love my dad. I appreciate him taking the time to share his heart with me about something he sensed could hurt me and/or others down the road. Even though it’s a year later when I’m finally realizing the truth, it means a lot to me.

After my phone call with Dad this morning, Drew and I finished signing our cards for Daniel and we tip-toed into the bedroom and jumped into the bed for a hello-good-morning-it’s-father’s-day.

A lot of tickling occurred. And then we all got ready for the day and headed out to Bob Evan’s for breakfast. This is our second time eating here since we moved and suddenly, it felt like a local place that I’d known forever. The waitress remembered us and praised over Drew, took great care of us, and everyone wished Daniel a Happy Father’s Day. I got a brief glimpse of what it would feel like again to live in a place where you know everyone and it was hard to swallow suddenly.

I think I’m starting to fall in love with Ann Arbor. We found a farmer’s market about a block from our apartment this weekend where we loaded up on fresh fruit. We also found the most beautiful mall (can you believe I went shopping and didn’t FALL APART – I have a long history of hating malls and hating, hating, hating shopping) but we had the grandest time ever. There was indoor bungee jumping, soft pretzels, an Apple store (finally, we live near one!), and so much to take in that is just a tiny bit away from where we live. We met a sweet girl who welcomed us to the city and shared where a huge outlet is nearby. We also found a pie store. A PIE STORE. I’d say it’s more like a pie factory. Everyone was wearing aprons with “Pie Crew” stamped on the back and it took everything within me to refrain from asking to buy an apron. But I did buy an apple crumb pie.

We finally came back home and tucked Drew in for a nap and are curling up with our respective laptops now. Geek time.

This has been a wonderful day full of smiles and laughing and dreaming about the home we’re going to buy one day and all the Fake Pottery Barn furniture we’re going to fill it with and all the while, I’m swooning over Daniel and so very thankful that he’s Drew’s daddy.

I married the perfect guy for me. He’s charming, sweet, brilliant, geeky, a lover of culture, and I can’t wait to see how he teaches Drew about the world as time goes by.

Hopefully it will involve a lot of silliness.

P.S. Happy Father’s Day to the rest of you as well.